It's already midnight, and i havent start studying my geron yet. I've been trying to, but the weather is super hot today and i will tend to get very distracted and restless. Anyway, i know it's been ages since i last have a proper update. First and foremost, i wanna express my utmost apologies to all, if i've hurt unintentionally. I realised that i havent been myself for these past weeks or so. Don't ask me why, i'm not sure why myself. I'm more withdrawn, prefers to be on my own. Be it in school or at home. I spend most of my time, thinking and analysing. Something is not right somewhere, i wish i could explain in a proper sentence what that feeling is but i don't know how to. When i browsed through my old photos, during my 1.1 days in campus i realised how much i miss those days. My secondary school days with the girls. I miss having someone to talk to and not pretend anymore, cause apparently now i feel like there's a barrier which seperates me and the world. It just feels empty. I miss haaving time for myself, i hate it trying to rush everything and squeeze my time to please everyone, but yet staying focus. i'm really very tired, trying to give my best and divide myself into so many roles at a time. I doubt anyone understands what i'm blabbering about, oh well, as long as i've let everything out, i feel a sense of relief. Don't get me wrong, i've the best friends, greatest boyfriend and a loving family any can ask for, really. I just hope i can get back on track, perhaps its just the time of the month again, so yeah that explains my weird thoughts and ramblings.